♥ Stepfanie's

2012-01-25T02:37:00.000+08:00

I love my family and my boyfriend. Enough said.

2012-01-24T01:44:00.001+08:00

Ripped this off a post in fb.

Treat your girl right, bro. Plain and simple.

I know it can be hard to please her sometimes, but it’s worth it in the end. Remember that she’s your happiness, your world. She should be the first person you talk to in the morning, and the last person you whisper “Good night” to. Unlike some of your bros, she’s going to be there for you when you’re the happiest, but more importantly, when you’re at your lowest. She’ll cook for you and care for you, so treat her like a queen. Girls are delicate creatures.

Think before you say. Think before you act. They take every little mistake you make and multiply it by a thousand. So try not to mess up, aight? When you’re fighting, sometimes it’s better to put your relationship before your own pride. You’re not helping yourself by making her upset, bro. And never, ever, under any condition, let her go to sleep crying. She’ll resent you for it for the rest of your days.

Don’t forget to make her feel special everyday. Open doors, go shopping with her. Hell, make dinner for her! The more you show her you love her, the more she’ll give you in return. Remember that an “I love you” via text is never as special as one in person. And show her off to your bros, don’t be ashamed of her. She’s never been ashamed of your dorky ass. Look, she doesn’t really need much in a relationship; she just wants to feel like she matters to you. That’s not asking for much, bro.
But if you haven’t learned a thing from reading this, remember this. Love her unconditionally, loyally, and keep her close. Love her with everything you’ve got: emotionally, mentally, and physically. Because I swear, if you won’t treat your girl right, someone else definitely will.

Just thought I would share.

2012-01-22T03:25:00.002+08:00

I would like to give a 100% effort to the people I love, and the things I do. But as the priorities increase, the focus is divided.

Loved ones: I am sorry if I have neglected you. I know how you feel, as I know how I feel whenever I am ignored or of little importance (which is pretty much most of the time). The feeling of a rising lump in the throat, the feeling of trying to swallow it, the feeling of the tingle in the body, the feeling that you are suddenly the most unattractive person in the world, the feeling of your self worth diminishing. And to round it off you still have to plaster a smile on your face as though nothing just happened.

The opposite of love is not hatred. It is apathy.

I can almost see it. The deliberate flow of events which passed seamlessly without so much of a hint of your input, the blank 'are you a retard' stare whenever your voice is finally acknowledged (sort of ). The way you feel like a buzzing housefly; your presence is felt but insignificantly so, or no one seems to notice anything at all.

Why am I saying so much on the same point? Cos I want you to know that I know how it feels. And it sucks big time.

That's why I try my utmost not to let people feel this way. But recently I seem to have failed terribly as both a friend and a partner. I did my best, but it did not work out. And I am as disappointed as you are about how everything turned out. All I can do now is offer my sincere apology and hope you will at least grudgingly accept it.

And I wonder if this is a familiar feeling to everyone.

Things I do: I'm determined to put twice as much effort into both my studies and polo. This staying at the bottom thing for ten million years is really starting to irritate me, as I believe I am not that stupid or talentless. This venturing-out-of-comfort-zone thing is really making me seem like some useless dumb git who knows nothing. So pissed off with myself on why I was so determined to prove to everyone and myself that I can do sports too.

Studies... sigh. I am trying not to be distracted from my cause as I have to buck up and pull up all my grades if I want to graduate with a decent honours. So that means less surfing the web mindlessly (oops), less watching the telly, more doing productive stuff. Hey, slow and steady beats doing nothing at all.

And polo... what's more to say now. I'm sure everyone is tired of listening and can probably say word for word what I am worried about and my problems. And being such a dense being I can't absorb and internalize much of what the coach comments for me. So all I'm trying to do now is just remember at least two things that the coach mentions that I can work on. And with studying alongside (brain activity up) I dearly hope that I can remember more things via listening.

And not forgetting my plans to train a little more every week so I can miraculously improve faster (hasn't been happening at all knn).

The tone of this post is very confusing I realized HAHA. It's just that I feel guilty towards others and exasperated with myself. But through this I hope that others would understand that nothing is personal and I am already trying very hard to balance it all.

To excel you need effort.

To be a carer you also need effort.

To be both you need constant effort and various ratios.

And that golden ratio is what I am seeking.

difficult decisions made in the past

2011-12-26T01:23:00.002+08:00

are sometimes difficult to decide in the present too.

Whenever I think of the incident I can almost taste the same helplessness, stress, and self-loathing. When life throws you a dilemma you can't handle, assertiveness and confidence start shriveling into little raisins, magnifying the situation like darkness devouring a small town. It just makes me want to shut my eyes and distant myself from it, hoping it would somehow solve by itself. I guess this is why some people favour indecisiveness; at least if the consequence is horrible you know that it wasn't your fault it all ended in shit (kind of).

Feeling terrible on many counts. Affecting others as well as myself. It wouldn't work, no matter what was decided upon.

All in all I'm just glad it's over, whatever the unpleasant outcome was.

I really, really don't want to end up in any more situations which pits family/bf against polo anymore.

Just a random Sunday night musing. Happy Boxing Day. I really should blog more to combat the sluggishness of my brain.

one of my oldest friends

2011-11-14T20:16:00.002+08:00

Thanks for seeing me through my ups and downs, laughter and tears. We may not contact often but we know we can count on each other as and when, and talk like we have never been apart. Thank you for being one of my oldest and bestest friends whom I believe will not disappear from my life.

Hope you have a good 21st year ahead of you ♥

2011-11-08T22:04:00.001+08:00

You are the most important person in my life but that does not mean you can abuse the privilege.

I want your eyes and heart only on me.

2011-11-02T23:02:00.001+08:00

Maybe if I tried harder, eat lesser, I would be prettier.

2011-10-24T01:42:00.003+08:00

Here's a picture to remind me of happy times.

2011-09-12T01:30:00.001+08:00

I wished I was born in a family which has too much money.

So I can buy loads of nice stuff for you and me.

2011-08-20T02:01:00.001+08:00

Sweep me off my feet, will you?

Show me what pure and unconditional love really is.
Promise I will be shielded from hurt in your embrace.

2011-08-10T23:31:00.001+08:00

The only thing that needs to be authentic in a relationship is the love and concern for each other.

2011-07-30T23:43:00.001+08:00

The team, or the boyfriend.

You can't win either way.

*

Scare of my life.

I thought my mum threw the bear that he gave me. I had a mini heart attack. Then I saw it sitting happily in my room.

That's when the tears start to fall.

2011-07-26T23:23:00.001+08:00

Can you give me the extra love and concern during this trying time?

2011-07-23T00:13:00.002+08:00

4 posts in a row? I must be really agitated and sad.

2011-07-22T22:36:00.004+08:00

If me and anyone else were late, would you:

a) give me the death stare and hide your anger from the others;

b) be fine with me and show your unhappiness to others.

I would bet that you never flared up at her or walk away from her like she has a contagious disease.

Jumbled up placings and priorities.

Unfortunately we all hurt the ones we love the most.

Would you tell me I was worth everything you have gone through.

2011-07-22T22:12:00.003+08:00

This has been the shittiest week of my life.

Severe lack of sleep + muscle ache + stress = guailan + grumpy + doze off at work + nearly got knocked down by a car today + constant gastric and the runs.

And oh, not to forget the massive pile of saigang that is taking forever to do. I can officially declare that I have learnt close to zero this week.

Fuck this shit. I can probably die at home and no one will notice until I smell of rot and maggots.

Fuck everybody.

2011-07-19T02:00:00.000+08:00

I love you. I really do.

Don't want to be heartbroken again.

we love food

2011-07-18T00:54:00.004+08:00

Short meetups = over food. I like!

Work's been busy busy busy even though only the second week has just passed. Feeling so shagged then now + training I feel like I'm supergirl. And not to forget stressed :( might just be the cause of my irrational thoughts and deteriorating health :( :( I'm not meant for a hectic lifestyle!!!

Wish for more time with the boy and less quarrels. We have so little moments spent together plus I'm so mentally drained most of the time I don't want to have anything unpleasant to think about. So god please. Thanks.

p/s: Salted Caramel not nice one :( disappointing.

2011-07-17T17:07:00.000+08:00

I feel so hurt and confused today.

2011-07-17T00:58:00.000+08:00

I don't like it when he is angry with me. :'(((

2011-07-14T09:00:00.002+08:00

Just want to express how thankful and relieved I feel now. Time to work even harder.

2011-07-10T01:12:00.001+08:00

Small goals after today:

improve dip
change over - stay in own half face own goal post and stay calm
stay calm during manmark

2011-07-05T23:10:00.002+08:00

I feel so alone.

But it's okay. Just need to lift my head high and continue on with life.

It's only the 2nd day of work and I'm exhausted with everything already.

2011-07-05T00:34:00.002+08:00

9 months.

That's 3/4 of a year. But this is the worst 9th month, with both of us working and busy the whole day.

Sigh.

Must get used to it I suppose.

I want the boy to appear as and when I miss him >(

2011-07-01T05:01:00.001+08:00

The boyfriend looking handsome and workish during dinner today.

Thanks for understanding me best.

2011-07-01T02:20:00.003+08:00

I feel like crying in helplessness.

I'm already scouting for nice food to eat in case anything happens.

Want to wake the bf up but have nothing to say ):

2011-06-25T01:27:00.003+08:00

I must thank the gods for him.

♔ of my ♥

2011-06-24T03:16:00.004+08:00

I feel strangely upset.

It all started out with innocent talk (I will assume that) - that one person will not be able to play. Let's come back to this later.

Since forever, I have this constant belief that grades are a combination of smartness + hardworkingness. Basically it means that someone who is duper hardworking can score possibly a comparable score to someone who is lazy as can be but has a certain level of smartness to him. And apparently, this equation also seems to apply to sports. Except instead of smartness, it's talent.

You should perhaps try to measure the amount of talent I have. It's so minute I will freaking need to use vernier calipers.

This post is not about pulling long faces on how bad I suck at polo and oh-please-everyone-be-nicer-to-me-i-so-poor-thing. This post is written in the most neutral tone I can muster, and I guess, I am subconsciously bracing myself for the worst.

Am I hardworking? In my humblest opinion, I think I do put in quite a substantial amount of effort. I try to encourage myself by setting tiny goals, taking baby steps, so I will not be too overwhelmed by the actual amount I am lagging by. To be lagging behind is one of the most horrible feelings on earth. It is a burning mix of emotions; of envy, of confusion, of frustration, of humiliation. Yet, I grace my presence most of the time and suck it up and try to perform better.

If you are on top, you will never understand how it feels to be at the bottom.

Everyone is different. Our past experiences, our habits, our daily routines are different. Hence, our climbing path to the top will be different. At this point, after approximately two years, I am horrified to say that I am still meandering somewhere below, with no clear route to the goal.

Frustration courses through. Like 'why the fuck I cannot remember to multitask' and 'why the fuck I cannot read the game/people's course of action'. People yell. I lap it up. Because I am the guided, the blind sheep.

Accepting criticism was never a strong point of mine. But I swallow it all up cos I had to, I am non the wiser on what's going on.

And why do I do all these? Subjecting myself to things I normally do not tolerate? Cos I do not want to be forced to conclude that I simply have no talent in sports. And I do not want to exit from something, having ill feelings and completing only part of the battle. I want to be able to exit feeling happy and accomplished, that I had gained plenty out of it which in turn made me a better person.

Again, I am only scribbling out my thoughts as they are, not trying to chalk up sympathy. But I digressed.

One person will not be able to play. I am speculating my name is a top favourite in the list, however I am now doing all I can to get out of it. But I know my limitations and weaknesses so I am cushioning my pride lest my predictions are founded.

I don't want to confirm my lack of talent in sports.

I feel strangely upset.

2011-06-22T13:39:00.001+08:00

It is an illusion that youth is happy, an illusion of those who have lost it; but the young know they are wretched for they are full of the truthless ideal which have been instilled into them, and each time they come in contact with the real, they are bruised and wounded. It looks as if they were victims of a conspiracy; for the books they read, ideal by the necessity of selection, and the conversation of their elders, who look back upon the past through a rosy haze of forgetfulness, prepare them for an unreal life. They must discover for themselves that all they have read and all they have been told are lies, lies, lies; and each discovery is another nail driven into the body on the cross of life.

— W. Somerset Maugham, Of Human Bondage

2011-06-21T16:13:00.000+08:00

We cannot expect of others what we don't expect of ourselves.

Likewise, others cannot expect of us what they don't expect of themselves.

Just some food for thought.

2011-06-20T00:23:00.010+08:00

We went Sentosa like finally after 1 million years!!!

Grumpy boy in the morning.

Walking to the beach! And Facebook autotagged the Indian lady behind us as Ying Shi HAHAHAH.

Today the boyfriend not keen to take pictures. :( never mind. I have plenty of stalkerish photos ;)

Therefore just take myself lor. Lol. It was a very balmy day with loads of clouds! I like, boyfriend doesn't.

Watery sun.

It was fucking shiok and I fell asleep while cloudtanning. And to my displeasure woke up when the boyfriend disturbed me :[

Hence force him to camwhore with me! Muahaha.

Books to read while tanning.

Scratching the itch at his butt. :p

Subsequently the sun revealed itself and we proceeded to read and tan. Happy times!!

Love the boy and his company. :)

2011-06-19T02:54:00.002+08:00

Friendlies with NP today. I guess playing a simpler and slower paced game gave me an easier overview of the whole thing and hence what I can do to deem myself useful. Should learn to process things faster.

2011-06-17T02:42:00.004+08:00

I reckon I should post some pictures or at least type a few lines on what I've been up to everyday cos I'm bored and unproductive like that at home.

Had breakfast for dinner with WY today! One of the few people I still keep in contact with from JC. Wah damn long never meet already~

The Tunisian was :\ and the Belgium was :)) but unfilling (at least for me). It was a short but good meetup! Must plan one more soon.

And the boyfriend commented that my food photos always > human photos. Correct what! Food doesn't move, easier to take and forever looks glam (yummy)! And makes me feel pro muahahaha.

Anyway Sentosa on sunday! And Peporoni Pizzeria on saturday (though gatecrashing his Father's day celebration)! Cannot wait~ Makes certain things more bearable somehow.

Reminder to self to blog about Langkawi soon. Kbai abrupt end.

2011-06-15T03:07:00.000+08:00

I'm sleepy but my hair isn't dry.

2011-06-15T01:34:00.006+08:00

Backdated post:

Went to the zoo and night safari for our 8th. :)

Yay to our tickets!!!

Everybody this is a shui niu, according to suspicious sources.

Ultimate cute. Madagascar penguins lookalikes!!!!!!

Relac on corner lepak.

Grumpy horsey :(

'Why you touch me!! >('

Dinner at Bongo Burgers at NS! Average food I guess.

And to end of a sleeping leopard.

I enjoyed every bit of it yayness. Should go to more of such places instead of always eating!! :D

lybb :)))))

2011-06-15T01:17:00.006+08:00

Went to USS today with the cousins for belated May babies birthday celebrations!

Doing what we do best, i.e. camwhoring.

Betty Boop! Funneh max omg.

And finally a dumb pic of me and the solo boy cos we are mature like that. :D

USS was quite fun!!! Loved the Battlestar Galectica, pity only sat once. :( And never had enough time to fully explore the place. Double :(.

I am determined to drag the boyfriend there! :D:D yay!!

2011-06-13T23:03:00.002+08:00

Looking at our photos gives me a tingling feeling inside.

In good, in bad, in sadness, in joy...

You're always on my mind.

change

2011-06-13T02:19:00.003+08:00

Byebye long hair... I'll miss your ability to cover my shoulders and arms. But you made me 24/7 feel bloody hot.

Hello shorter hair. It's been a long time since we met during 2007.

I suppose this is called adaptability to the climate.

2011-06-12T02:07:00.002+08:00

So in love with the boy~

BF = boyfriend, best friend.

I am thankful you are both.

2011-06-09T02:08:00.005+08:00

Today during training I was yelled at 1120021031 times by the coach.

It was good.

At least I'm learning something and where I went wrong.

I wonder if I will still get to learn when the stronger players come back.

I hope.

Don't want to be a liability.

Don't want to be unneeded.

I'm strong enough to handle this.

2011-05-30T02:26:00.004+08:00

I firmly believe that guys should spend more on gals than gals spending more on guys.

I finally told him what has been niggling at the back of my mind for the past 8 months. It ended off in tears and unhappiness. I don't wish to talk about it anymore.

But neither do I want to put on a facade for everyone else.

2011-05-26T14:31:00.002+08:00

Dream of the day:

I was looking for one side of a shoe (wedge I think) of mine that was missing in a big house full of people and shoes everywhere.

2011-05-19T20:19:00.000+08:00

You thought that I'd be weak without you, but I'm stronger.

grey: yay or nay?

2011-05-17T17:44:00.002+08:00

Tsk okay I know I will fix my eyebrows soon....

mum's day

2011-05-17T17:10:00.001+08:00

Leaving this here as proof that I r awesomez as a daughter.

2011-05-12T01:18:00.000+08:00

I'm thinking which good characteristic (or a relatively better one) of myself will I be willing to trade to be pretty.

2011-05-09T18:55:00.005+08:00

WELCOME TO THE FAMILY.

FOR THE LOVE OF A7X.

2011-05-08T19:31:00.002+08:00

My thoughts on the GE 2011 in a line:

Striking a balance between being grateful for our conditions, and at the same time not being a pushover.

My back hurts. :(((

judas

2011-05-08T13:48:00.004+08:00

I'm totally loving this look. And I love the mv!!!

And here's my half-assed attempt. K i know it doesn't look like but I don't care!!

I might be a convert. LOL. Time to find a nice bandanna!!!

2011-05-06T00:26:00.002+08:00

I want to draw my eyes like that!

K I know everything after exams. Meh.

2011-05-05T02:56:00.004+08:00

Need to not panic. And kill the butterflies in my tummy.

v()v

ohm~

7 :)

2011-05-05T01:18:00.002+08:00

Today I'm thankful that you're still here.

2011-05-03T15:21:00.001+08:00

i swear my arm became smaller!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But it will be temporarily only :(

2011-05-03T02:42:00.001+08:00

Omg I can't wait for December!!! I must save a lot of money during IA!!!

3 favourite people, what more can I ask for?

hair obsession

2011-05-02T02:33:00.003+08:00

I bought a new flower to put in my hair!!! :D I don't care what you think, I think the $2.90 is worth it hehehe :D:D

Sheesh I really need to do something about the brows after exams.

2011-05-01T05:42:00.002+08:00

nauseous: referring to something that actually causes a feeling of sickness

nauseated: the actual sensation of sickness

I am always confused by these two words.

with the dodohead :)

2011-05-01T04:01:00.005+08:00

Photos which make me think he doesnt want to take pics with me:

The boy is too cute I swear. I wish we can be happy everyday!!

2011-04-29T00:38:00.002+08:00

Some are concerned. Most are curious.

I wish I can take back what I have said a month ago. Shouldn't have trusted such a sly info digger.

2011-04-27T18:43:00.003+08:00

We will be alright. I believe so.

We will emerge stronger than before.

2011-04-27T02:53:00.002+08:00

Next time I will encourage my children to write diaries so that they have an outlet to express and sort out their innermost thoughts, and to improve their english.

2011-04-25T00:52:00.001+08:00

It's not that I doubt your love but I always feel that I am never pretty enough for you.

I fear that you will be ashamed to walk beside me.

2011-04-24T18:04:00.002+08:00

This is such a dead place... I really think i should update more often hahaha but then again my brain's fried and maybe no one visits this place at all so I sometimes wonder is it worth it to churn something out. -_-

Okay so here's a short post to remind myself what I want to do after the exams end!! Cos by the time the last paper has passed I would have done a goldfish and not complete a single thing from my to-do list. And that would result in my to-do list being forever the same and unaccomplished. Sigh. I am like the world's number one procrastinator.

Pick up drums again.

Search for a holiday for year end. (BKK!!!! my bf childishly keep asking why i want to go bang cock wtf)

Make a cream-based pasta from scratch.

Use my dreamcatcher to make a necklace!!

Shopping. This activity has earned a permanent spot here.

That's all for now! Cannot be too ambitious haha. I hope can do all those before IA starts :(

2011-04-17T13:31:00.002+08:00

When it's family you may grumble and all but you will eventually lend a helping hand. Cos they are family.

When the trust is broken... well, would you feel gullible and regrettable or be willing to take this chance again?

2011-02-27T01:22:00.000+08:00

Can I be pretty please?

2011-02-24T03:10:00.000+08:00

I can haz a shy bear and oily face for my first Vday. :)

2011-01-28T02:00:00.001+08:00

On the 24th of Jan, we had Tony Romas! Thanks baby! :):)

2011-01-26T02:24:00.000+08:00

I love my family! Thanks for helping out in the preparation of my 21st birthday. :')

2011-01-20T13:16:00.002+08:00

I have the sweetest friends and bestest bf :')

2011-01-17T00:52:00.001+08:00

I wish for many more happy days to come! :)

2011-01-06T12:11:00.002+08:00

care:

–verb (used without object)

to be concerned or solicitous; have thought or regard.
to be concerned or have a special preference (usually used in negative constructions): I don't care if I do.

Well that puts me in my place, doesn't it?

three

2011-01-04T17:44:00.000+08:00

Am I so boring!!!

2011-01-01T12:27:00.002+08:00

How i spent the last day of 2010:

Watching Two and a Half Men with B.

Eating prata with the family and B when everyone was in the countdown frenzy and saw fireworks from Serangoon Gardens.

Forgetting to pay for the pratas and walking off (til now).

I love my nua lifestyle. :D and oh, happy new year to the people reading this!!

2010-12-22T19:47:00.002+08:00

Hi all.

I'm doing good. Just keeping the emo posts here for display's sake.

And tomorrow's the last paper!

2010-12-16T17:28:00.002+08:00

And hi god of external appearance, did I offend you in my past life or something? Why I end up looking like that? Thanks for the awesome combo of flatness, fatness and ugliness. I must be one in a million.

From, me with no thanks.

2010-12-15T13:24:00.002+08:00

Dear god of exams, I sincerely hope the rest of my papers will be smooth sailing kthxbai.

tuu

2010-12-11T00:25:00.002+08:00

Two crabs for two pigs! Yumyum.

happy thoughts

2010-12-03T02:47:00.004+08:00

:) xoxo

2010-11-24T23:04:00.003+08:00

Screwed up.

A nothing special, not worth mentioning or remembering being whose presence signifies nothing.

I want to talk to someone.
But everyone is too busy with their own affairs.
I hate exams.
They have snatched away what is most important to me.

I want to be happy everyday. Is that too much to ask for?

I don't want to cry myself to sleep anymore.

lesson

2010-11-19T21:43:00.002+08:00

It is a mistake to put all feelings into a basket and hand it to someone. Cos you are putting them at the risk of being mishandled, toyed with, and hurt.

It is a mistake to tear down the wall that keeps one sheltered and safe. The wall where all insecurity and uncertainty hides. Cos when they run rampant you can't contain them privately again. Ever.

It is a mistake that will not be repeated.

The heart shall harden once more.

wan

2010-11-04T01:32:00.002+08:00

"then I will hug you tight and never let you go."

xx

2010-11-03T23:31:00.002+08:00

Long time no see, dear blog.

Actually there's nothing much going on, these weeks have been a mundane routine of school, training and half-hearted stabs at studying.

I'm so screwed. :(

I actually quite enjoy reading up for some of my modules but I just don't seem to have enough motivation to kickstart that inertia. And I hate it that lab report and projects take up time and attention awayyyyyy. My god I super dislike lab. Thank goodness I'm only left with one which is next friday. NO MORE JEANS DAY YAY.

Sigh I really want to do well this semester... like a vast leap from the previous. But now it only seems like lip service. Got to start pushing myself!

Okay I cannot stand me now I'm whining to no end about academics. That's two wrongs. -_-

When did I become such a boring person!!!!!! Mehhhhh.

Anw, 13 min to a special day. :) I fervently thank the god I prayed to in my last trip to Bangkok.

K ta back to reportttttt.

2010-10-13T12:38:00.001+08:00

有些人值得等候
有些悲伤只得忍受

P.S.我爱你

-Alin

2010-09-18T01:01:00.003+08:00

She spoke my thoughts aloud.

It has already been one year; how much have I truly learnt? And how much am I able to execute at a much higher level?

It pains me as I struggle to produce an answer.

It is once again affecting my mood. Sometimes it really stings when others feel that you are not putting in your 100% or treating it seriously when in fact, that is already on the brink of your efforts. Which brings me to my next point. The discreptency in my 100% vs the rest of the team. Maybe I am not putting in enough, not sacrificing enough when I am already far, far away at the start. Maybe I am subconsciously reluctant to steer away from my normal pace of life to this new realm that I've entered and thus require a hastier lifestyle.

I don't want to be a shitty player. I don't want to remain at the bottom.

I really don't know.

Maybe I was wrong - to believe that I will be able to conquer something totally foreign once I've set my mind to it. Maybe I'm not cut out for it. I'm tired already. One year of feedback, criticism and encouragement. But still I don't see a visible hop.

Help me.

2010-09-10T17:21:00.001+08:00

I got accepted for AAI282 Percussion. So glad to be one of the 13 people chosen.

But I heard from a friend that they accept both pro and beginner level people.

I certainly hope I don't fall under beginners.

2010-08-24T00:15:00.002+08:00

The deteriorating faith in relationships and marriage.

What if my husband of 20 years doesn't want to travel around the world with me? I'd be fucked. Yet I doubt I'm the clingy sort of person.

Even after rings and vows are exchanged, some things are just so independent of anything else that even a union cannot rectify them.

Compromise. How much are you willing to? Or would you just sit there and expect others to give in to you?

Just a random musing.

2010-08-23T02:08:00.000+08:00

A little bit of love.

2010-08-15T01:39:00.002+08:00

A small flame has ignited. A small fire, but nonetheless, a fire.

Reminder to self: post about MBS!

2010-08-10T06:08:00.004+08:00

Changed to an even simpler template, with the addition of one of my favourite colours green.

Goodness I just realized I haven't updated properly for quite some time already, besides the feeble attempt of posting pictures and calling it a day. Need to type more, work the brain more lest my ability in English tumbles further!

Will do a nice lengthy (hopefully) post next. Need to unload the burden in my mind, but now is just not the time.

Useless post +1.

2010-07-25T18:12:00.001+08:00

I swear he was looking for me. : >

2010-07-05T16:00:00.003+08:00

I can has a stupider-er brain than you.

Time to visit the library

And to find guinea pigs for my midnight baking fetish.

Damn you left eye. I hope the cornea isn't scratched

And I can't go for training. What a marvellous way to lag even more.

ATC

2010-06-15T17:33:00.003+08:00

This can go into my list as one of the most memorable Sundays I have ever spent.

Despite the random grumbles here and there, I am glad to say I took part and completed this race. Cos never in my life would I have thought I will do something like this.

Wanny firmly agrees.

Walking through muddy rivers, swimming in mangrove swamps, kayaking in the sea, biking through dirt, tunneling through the huge drainage then climbing out of it, abseiling 8 storeys, puzzle solving, crawling through obstacles and of cos, running/walking... (ratio of 1:99)

It was a good experience. :) And I am happy to have made 2 new lameo friends hehe. Team Walkathon ftw!

2010-06-11T04:11:00.003+08:00

I typed, backspaced, typed, and backspaced some more.

All emo thoughts are gone for the moment. :)

In the meantime, I'm terribly yearning to stretch my vocals. Hope can KTV by next week.

Ain't no mountain high enough; ain't no valley low enough.

2010-06-01T16:08:00.003+08:00

If I can't be a good player, a good teammate... the least I can do is to be a good referee.

Right?

But somehow it doesn't get any easier.

I really hate how my mind dissociates whenever during a game that I can't recall a single shit I was doing during and after the game.

Where has all the focus gone too?

2010-05-18T18:54:00.008+08:00

Hello! Back from my Europe trip and what can I say, Europe is absolutely breathtaking, if you are into scenaries and architecture like me. If not... everything is rather pricey and I had my first golden wee costing 1.50euros @#$*(@#)((%@# So all in all, it really depends on what you are there for.

Of cos, some pictures:

Colosseum, Italy

Leaning Tower of Pisa, Italy

St Peter's Cathedral, Rome

St Peter's Square, Rome

Gondola ride, Venice

Duomo di Milano, Milan

Interlaken, Switzerland

Mt Titlis, Switzerland

Effiel Tower, Paris

Arc de Troimphe, Paris

Notre Dame, Paris

Lourve Museum, Paris

I must have took zillions of photos haha but honestly, I don't think I did them justice. :/ Oh well. Time to improve snapping skills!

miss the gal

2010-04-27T20:33:00.002+08:00

We're going out soon! :)

2010-04-24T00:06:00.003+08:00

Exam periods are a whore cos it means you're supposed to be buried under your books alive, have no social life, be in a daze from the excruciatingly massive amount of knowledge cramped into the tiny brain, and lost appetite from the constant waves of stress.

Well, you're supposed to.

But here I am, leisurely looking at recipes on the web, dreaming of what to do after the exams, half-heartedly giving HG801 a go and pretty well-fed now.

If that isn't a recipe for disastrous grades, I don't know what else is.

2010-04-18T04:24:00.002+08:00

I can puke if I see Math/ Physics a moment longer. :(:(

Oh wait there's still Computing. OH WHAT A DEPRESSING LIFE I LIVE.

voices with nothing to say

2010-04-05T17:56:00.003+08:00

Fighter, not a quitter.

It's infinitely annoying that everytime I want to do the laundry, thunder clouds loom near.

Exams are approaching but there are still lots of stuff like quizzes and an irritating HW110 speech to prepare for, yikes. So not ready for anything. :(

Anyway this is hardly coherent (not that this entry is) but thank you to those who did not give up on me, even when I am on the verge of giving up on myself. Though I don't show it. :)

Feeling happy listening to new stash of songs!

2010-03-30T16:27:00.002+08:00

The smiling facade cracked for a slight moment to reveal the furious disorder beneath the calm demeanor.

Such a slip will not occur again.

All will be resolved behind closed doors.

2010-03-22T21:27:00.002+08:00

Suddenly I miss the VJ bunch, ZH bunch and the MC bunch. :( :( :( It's just not the same here.